To golf the way I do
An officer stops a man for speeding and notices he’s not wearing his required prescription glasses.
Officer: “I have to give you a ticket for not wearing your glasses.”
Driver: “Officer, I have contacts.”
Officer: “I don’t care who you know, you’re still getting a ticket.”
What do you get when you cross an atheist and a dyslexic?
Someone that does not believe in Dog
A drill sergeant grumbles at his fresh young trainee.
– “I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning, private.”
– “Thank you very much, sir,” replies the soldier.